Wow, it’s been ages since I’ve blogged!

I reviewed my previous blogs and wow…I really am full of crap!  I stick to NOTHING! I have NO motivation, NO dedication and NO drive!  What is wrong w/ me?

Well, what IS wrong w/ me?  I’m a 33 year old woman that has always been overweight.  Overweight and unhappy about it, I’ve made changes in the past, but not significant enough to keep the weight off for long periods of time. I fall back into old habits and the weight just creeps back on…and on…and on.  So each time I start over again I’m back where I was.

Since July of last year, I’ve lost 10 lbs.  That was a goal I set for a MONTH!  What have I been doing?  A whole lot of nothing apparently!

Spring is just around the corner and I have a very active 2 year old!  I plan on evening walks w/ her, but I have to figure out dinner.  I have and always will suck at meal planning w/o some serious intervention!  I have no clue how to make menus and plan my meals for the week or month!  So time to set some goals!

1.      Plan meals for 3 nights each week.

2.    Make those meals quick and easy to be able to enjoy a walk before or after

3.    Stick to it!

October

October is the start of fall and usually when we turn our furnace on…which means stuffy dry noses and higher utility bills!  While our bills have been in the same price range for the past couple of years, it still is sad when we have to make that switch over. 

I had some goals for September that I’d like to revisit.

1.     Track and control spending

2.    Track my eating.

I’m going to start w/ #2.  I stopped tracking.  I’m done, I’m over it and I need to embrace that and not worry about it.  WW’s was more money out of my pocket and I’m not committed and it’s just stressing me out more and more by not doing it and paying for it.  It’s not worth the upset to me anymore.  I want to focus more on meal planning, incorporating more fruits and veggies to each meal and in the end I hope to eat healthier and will lose weight.  I will start tracking again, but more loosely, like just the meal and the portion size vs. calories/points.  I haven’t had a period since the end of July and it’s getting extremely frustrating by the day.  I was having every pregnancy symptom under the sun and received all negative tests, including a negative ultrasound and blood test.  So I’m taking progesterone for a couple of weeks to see what happens and hopefully my period comes back soon!  We want to have another baby, but that won’t happen until the monthly visitor shows back up and I can keep track again!  I believe my weight has quite a bit to do w/ it, so I just have to figure out the best way for me to lose weight and get it together. 

 

#1… track and control spending!  We NAILED this!  I wasn’t so much worried about “controlling” as I was with tracking it.  And I tracked and tracked and tracked some more!  We overspent in a few areas, but not near as badly as I thought!  We need to work on eating out and grocery spending, but those can both help get my eating and weight loss on track!  It’s amazing how things you didn’t think were related actually are.

October… wow… where has this year gone?  E will be 2, I have another niece/nephew on the way and I have another couple of goals in mind.

1.      Track my spending

2.    Meal plan

a.    Two meals per week for me

b.    Two meals per week for Hubby

If we meal plan like that, I think we will have plenty of leftovers for lunches and dinners and we won’t overspend and we won’t waste near as much.  Our works schedules can be crazy and sometimes we end up wasting more than we actually eat. 

            So here is to a new month and new goals!!!

 

Stress and goals...

Here it is my update…STRESS!  Unbelievable mental stress right now and I need to just chill and calm down.  I’m having some “woman” issues and it’s causing me more stress than necessary.  But I promised myself that this month, no matter what, I would make sure to follow up on my goals.  Tracking expenses and my eating.

This week I tracked every dime and we over spent, but I can see why and how!  It’s such a revelation and I’m proud of myself and us.  We are talking more about our money, what is coming in and going out and it’s really making more and more sense where we overspend and why.

1.     We don’t see each other often, so when we do, we tend to spend money. 

2.    We try to “stock up” when we can

So my DH decided to stay home from work this past Friday b/c he was going away for the weekend for his military duty.  So we met up on my way home from work and picked up a few items of clothing for our E.  She needs the next size up in all her fall/winter clothes and Kohl’s was having a wonderful sale.  I set a budget of $40 and we only spent $31!  I was very happy that I stuck to it.  There is a big consignment sale coming up in October in our area, so I will use $9 I didn’t spend and get 3-4 more items.  Since it’s rare that we actually see each other during the week we decided to grab E from daycare and go out to eat.  I was disappointed in my meal, but DH was happy and E loved some tortilla chips, another $32.  What other way to spend an impromptu family date night then to stop and get frozen yogurt?  We did, but we’ve discovered those self-serve places, you can spend as much or as little as YOU want.  For 3 of us we spent $6.50, quite pleased w/ that!  Basically we spent $70 that wasn’t budgeted for this week.  Did we have it?  We sure did, thanks to DH’s overtime, but should do that every month?  Probably not.

Since its DH’s duty weekend, my Mom came to babysit and we were running low on bulk items (trash bags, paper plates, diapers, laundry/dish soap) and Mom has a Sam’s Club membership so shopping was the name of the day!  We decided to just eat out ($47, but putting $20 back in cash for Mom’s part of the bill) and then shopping for all our necessities.  I totally forgot to add everything up as I went along (I had a list!) but I made a point to walk back through and add up everything so I had an idea of what I was going to spend…$131.  I was actually pleased.  Almost everything I got is going to last us 3 months, if not more, so basically (as a friend pointed out!) that is $43 a month.  Not too shabby in my opinion!  The only problem is, I considered all those things as “grocery” items and since I haven’t planned any meals this month ahead of time, I’m concerned how much more a hit our budget is going to take.  We are at $253 already; I’ll be paying for our meat delivery this week ($260) so that leaves us w/ only $27 left for the month.  I know we will go over that, but I’m happy to see where it’s going and how we are spending it. 

I’m really happy about our budget and where we at right now.  It’s going to a be a work in progress for a few months, but in the mean time I can get a good look at the mistakes we are/were making and make an effort to change them. 

 

My 2^nd goal…my eating…le sigh!  I lost 1 pound this week, not sure how, but I did.  My eating, well, it’s not under control and I did my usual skip out on tracking.  I’ve loved WW’s in the past, but I do not love it anymore.  I think I’m going to go to good old pen and paper, just writing down everything, good, bad or ugly.  Not necessarily focus on the calories, so much as the serving sizes and how often I’m eating.   I need to work on eating more often and much smaller portions, rather than saying “Oh, I can’t eat this/that”.  I like food, I want to be able to eat it, but like our budget I need to plan for it.  I need to decide if dessert is worth the cost, not just hiking up the bill, but is it worth to me?  I need to do some serious thinking and figuring out how I want to tackle my weight. 

 

I know each week is going to bring something different and I’m going to have to do some tweaking in my goals, but I’m ready.  I want to do it!

Re-evaluate September goals

I’ve decided to have a goal within a goal this month.  That goal is to re-evaluate my two big goals each week to see how we are doing.  I set 2 goals for September.

1.     Get control of family spending

2.    Track my eating

Taking a look at our family spending didn’t upset me and make me want to cry like I originally thought.  I took everything we HAVE to pay and made a list.  This is what it looks like…

House

Car

Personal Loan

Prime grocer

Daycare

Car Insurance

AT&T

Veterinary

Verizon

Dominion Gas

Electric

Waste Management

Water

GE Card (A/C unit)

Citi Card

Sears Card

Fifth Third (5/3) Card

Best Buy

Home Depot

Capital One Card

Kohl's Credit Card

Target Credit Card

 

The 22 items listed are all bills that HAVE to be paid monthly and accounts for $3200 each month (we recently paid off the one’s crossed out).  We bring home on average $4600.  So why does it seem like we never have any money?  Easily explained, we don’t meal plan and we blow sometimes $600+ a month on groceries.  We are commuters (30+ minutes each), so we both have to have a vehicle and gas cost $380 a month.  $5-$30 on fast food (WHAT?!?!) and various $5 we need this/that/the other shopping.  It all adds up!

So I broke it down and got the smack in the face that I’m the one over spending.  I’m the impulse shopper or “oh, we need this” instead of waiting and planning for it.  This month we are looking over what we spend.  Even though I’m using a couple of different online programs to help me track, I’m also writing everything down.  I think it’s going to really help us when we put our budget into play in October.  I’m really optimistic that we can get this figured out. 

Now, goal #2.  Tracking my eating.  Why is this so hard for me?  I tracked 5 out of 7 days.  I tracked better in the morning, than the evening and by the end of the week I wasn’t tracking at all.  I did weigh myself yesterday  morning b/c we were planning on having pizza (the first time in over a month) and I know that I have very little control when it comes to pizza.  I only had fast food twice, once was Subway, which is not completely unhealthy, but you have to pay attention.  Enjoying a foot long Cold Cut Combo (hey, it was on wheat bread) w/ pepper jack cheese and light mayo, w/ a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos and 2 chocolate chip cookies isn’t all bad, right?  RIGHT?!?!?!  Omg, the amount of calories consumed there should have been the only thing I ate all day.  Was it?  Nope, I ate dinner that night, didn’t even try to limit my calories.  The other day was Friday, I had Chipotle taco’s for lunch…chicken, w/ all the fixings.  Definitely need to only consume one of those a week.  Heck, even cut it back to once a month!  That is the goal!  Menu plan and cut out the fast food or impulse eating. 

I honestly think I'm in a good place with our goals this month.  Let's see what next week brings!

Talking to a toddler...

I've been focusing on myself and goals, with brief mentions of my family.  So I thought I'd share a moment w/ my little girl, E. 

I don't know about you, but I swear talking to my toddler is like talking to a brick wall. 
"E, we don't put our feet on the table."
"E, two hands on your cup"
"E, we use soft hands on puppy"
"E, we don't hit!"
"E, can you put your blocks in the bag? No we aren't playing w/ puzzles now, please help Mommy put blocks away"
"E, don't lick the dogs foot, eww"
I sound like a broken record and I want to smack my head against the wall at times. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, they can be taught!

We don't have a set play area, so our living room typically looks like a bomb went off. And since our house is a somewhat open floor plan, the toys spill into other rooms and into E's bedroom. Case in point, one of the most obnoxious toys in the world, Vtech Ladybug Crazy Legs



was left in the kitchen last night and I kicked it at 5a this morning! Thankfully, it didn't go off, even though it was still turned on (it does NOT have a valume control button! A toy purchased by a grandparent that is not subjected to it's obnoxiness!) E loves it, of course...

Back to my point...

I'm constantly trying to teach E that we need to pick up and clean up after we are done playing w/ something. Puzzles, blocks, Little People have been known to be under couches, in couches, inside decorative pitchers or baskets...pretty much wherever those things will fit they have been FOUND! E currently has a fascination w/ piggies. She picked a stuffed piggy at the fair after my DH put our life savings on the line (not really, but seemed like it!). We now hear joyous shouts of "Pitty, pitty!" through the house, there is almost always a pig in her hand, either her Little People pig, her new stuffed pig, her piggy bank (real) or one of the best toys ever, her Fisher Price Piggy Bank.



Before bed last night, in the midst of the fruitless "E, it's bedtime, let's pick up our toys!", I hear "Pitty, pitty!". She joyously runs over and grabs piggy from his shelf and sits in the middle of floor, dragging me down w/ her saying "Mommy, pitty, too!". So for 10 minutes give or take, we counted and put coins in the piggy, sang and danced. Time for bed! I left the room to get E's bed ready, turn her music on, so and so forth. I come back to the living room and retrieve the reluctant E and off to bed.
I get her settled in and return to the living room and start picking up the rest of the toys.

Wait a minute...where is piggy? We were playing w/ it in the middle of the floor, where could it have gone? I start looking around, figuring she hid it in her "house"...nope...behind the couch? Nope...what is that? Over on the shelf? OMG, IT'S PIGGY! Evie had put all the coins back in, picked it up and put it back on the shelf, all by herself and WITHOUT being asked!!!!!!
Talk about a proud mommy! One less thing to pick up and omg, she's learning! SQUEEEEEEEE! *insert happy dance*

New Month = New Goals

I have the tendency to make goals, then I break the goals. I do this all the time, it's shameful really, but I still do it. I'm not teaching my daughter anything if I say we are going to do something and then we don't do it. So it's September 1st...what goal(s) should I have for this month?

1. Get control of family spending...

How do I/we do this? Well, step one we are writing everything down. I'm even going to write down my personal account. I want to track every penny spent so I can get an idea where and why we are spending so much money!

Today I pulled out a "1 subject, spiral wide ruled notebook". It's been A LOT of years since DH or I have been in school, so I couldn't tell you where this thing came from; the pages are yellowed, if that tells you anything! I marked pages for each account to use like a check ledger, then a generic page to just write what was bought daily. I'm going to make this work for us until I figure out something better.

Over the past year I've been keeping track of our bills and trying to keep up w/ what needs to be paid each month. I've been doing this since January and I've still be struggling to get our savings in order and keep our spending down. So, here I am, I'm trying to put all the writing and keeping track of in one place and tackle our spending. 




2. Track my eating...


I'm a lackadaisical Weight Watcher member. I pay for the online program each month, yet I only follow it for about 3 days a week. There is no reason for it. I have app's on my phone for it, we have the internet back at home, I have the internet at work. Why am I so erratic? Guilty conscience probably, I know I'm eating poorly and cheating myself and the program, so I just stop. Seems like the most logical explanation. I honestly think it's b/c I'm just plain lazy. I admit it, I'm a lazy fat ass. I'm 254lbs, I'm allowed to call myself a fat ass. I have no one to blame but myself at this point, I've done nothing to stop the expansion, nor to reduce it! I have to start w/ baby steps. 



Since I'm writing everything done money wise this month, the least I can do is write down everything food wise. Right, wrong or indifferent...whether or not I exceed my points...I have to track and see what I'm doing. 


So, my two goals for this month.

1. Write down all expenses...bills, eating out, groceries, gas...EVERYTHING!

2. Write down (input!) everything that goes in my mouth...breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, drinks...EVERYTHING!!!!

September changes

Not just the weather, but OMG, I'm so glad we will start seeing cooler temperatures, it's been brutal in Ohio this year!

No, my little family needs a serious make over.  Inside and out...

Our little Evil One decided eating is over rated, tantrums are awesome and has decided to start biting.  So timeouts are now being heavily enforced.

Our finances have been AWFUL! (who's isn't?!?!)  Overspending, things breaking that HAD to be repaired, forgotten payments and late fees, emergency dental work...CHA CHING CHA CHING CHA CHING!

Me...physically?  Well, I'm struggling, as usual.  I don't know what it is mentally that makes me ignore myself physically, it's just something in my head.  I had an emergency root canal, the first time I've ever had anything wrong w/ my teeth!  All the scheduling for that really threw off what I was doing to work out, so I started neglecting that, which lead to neglecting any healthy eating.  I saw my OB for my annual/bi annual check up, last week and she gave me a reality check.  Over the last 6 years I've had repeat abnormal pap's and diagnosed w/ HPV.  It's not changed or spread, but I have a pap done almost every 6 months to make sure nothing needs to be addressed.  While talking to her I brought up the fact that I've been "trying" to lose weight and I'm having no success, maybe it was a horomonal issue?  In a nutshell she told me to get off my big butt and hit the cardio and hit it hard.  I cried...nothing unusual for visits w/ her, she's wonderful, but doesn't pull any punches.  She talked w/ me about my eating habits and pushed cardio cardio cardio.  My husband recently became a distributor for Advocare (I'll add his link at another time), it helps w/ weight loss and has some wonderful products, that actually taste good.  I'm trying to buckle down and dedicate myself to his products, meal planning, using WW's and planning workouts. 

In not taking care of myself, I haven't taken time for myself, away from my little family, so I finally did!  I had a girls day out yesterday that I sooooooooo needed.  I went to the WGAR Country Jam w/ a couple of friends, an all day music festival.  It was a BLAST!  I made some poor decisions, but as an adult, thankfully I'm responsible enough to say "WTF was I THINKING!" and plan on not doing those things again.  And I told my husband about the whole day, leaving no details out.  Even when I make stupid decisions, I know my husband will just shake his head and listen.  He knows I've already berated myself, there is no need for him too.  Today I'm sunburned, hoarse and TIRED! 

So onto goals for September...
1.  Write our calendar for the month including our work schedules, appointments, and all bills.
2.  Write down all spending, in personal and joint accounts.
3.  Work out daily...Evie likes to go places...so walk there!  Pick up on cardio, no excuses.
4.  Make a date night and celebrate our relationship and nurture it to it's fullest!
5.  Schedule an appointment w/ the counselor.