It really wasn't, but I'm saying it was for this goal. What did it say? Down 2lbs! I'm now 253lbs...WOO! YAY!
Will it stay off? Gosh, I hope so, but I don't feel very confident that it will. Why? Multiple reasons.
1. I indulged...I had a treat meal...why did I do that?
2. I gave into the convenience of fast food rather than cook dinner.
3. My period is looming, I'm actually 2 days late, but it doesn't always show on time, I'm feeling some symptoms.
4. I've only scheduled work outs 3 days this week.
5. I didn't immediately track my food choices Sun - Tues, so I went back and I'm sure I missed things.
Let's address #1. A treat meal. What is this? For me it was Mr. Hero, a 10" Romanburger w/ a side of waffle fries and a root beer. A 10" SANDWICH, w/ salami, small hamburger patties (3 to be exact!), cheese, oil mixture, onions, lettuce and mayo! So delicious, but so unhealthy, I'm sure loaded in saturated fat, grease and just pure blah! My heartburn later that night was proof enough that it's something I shouldn't have consumed. What annoyed me about the whole thing? They have a mini one! What is wrong w/ me that I can't make the smarter choice? If I'm going to treat myself, I just need the taste, not the whole container. My husband can sit down to a treat and just eat a taste. A pint of ice cream is something I can't even think about it, I will eat the whole thing! My hubby, 2 or 3 spoonfuls, he makes those things last WEEKS!!! He did enjoy the same exact meal as me w/ the same exact results (heartburn!), so I know he does have weaknesses, but he's also pretty thin and has amazing will power when it comes to sweets. What can I do differently? Well, that one is easy, stop having treat "meals"...have a treat snack to begin with, then once I get over this need to be "treated" w/ food, make it a physical treat (clothes, shoes, nail polish). I need to remember that over eating and "treating" myself is what got me to the weight I am.
#2...sigh...I'm not proud of it, but I cannot manage my time or plan meals to save my life. Even though my daughter is a pretty consistent napper, I still can't figure out how to plan an evening meal for us! It's just her and I in the evenings and I LOVE playing and doing stuff w/ her, but she is a little busy body so she has to be focused on something in order for me to get stuff done (ie cooking). If she's not focused on something she will become obessive for my attention, or heaven forbid, she will become obessive about the idea that we will eat soon and I will hear "EAT EAT EAT" for 30-45 minutes (or however long it takes to get a plate infront of her!)
Monday night was brutally hot! I planned on going out to swim, but it was so hot it wouldn't have been any fun, so we headed to the mall and lost track of time. I had planned to bake fish, but it would have taken 40 minutes from the time we got home, so I decided to stop at Wendy's...I only wanted to get stuff off the value menu, which I did, a chicken sandwich, fries, nuggets and the oh so tempting Frosty (those things are evil!). I was proud of my choices and the fact that I only spent $4.95. We got home and the nuggets on the value meal are now SPICY, not ideal for a toddler (way to go Wendy's, nice way to make people get the kid's meals that are more expensive!)...so Evie ate french fries, cucumbers, green peppers, carrots, grapes and oranges. While I ate a small chicken sandwich, french fries, grapes and oranges. We have plenty of salad makings, yet I didn't take the time to make one for myself and I just ate what I wanted, even though I know it was not the best choice.
#3...she's on her way, the Progressive b*tch (total inside joke!), better known as Aunt Flow. I typically gain 3-8 lbs while on my period. I seriously need to throw out the scale that week b/c I feel like I'm fighting the whole rest of the month to just get period bloat off and it shows back up the next month. But why am I gaining that much? Could it be b/c I'm giving myself carte blanche to eat those "treats" to make myself feel better? Yep, I'm sure that is part of it, heck, most of it! I honestly don't think I actually crave anything, but I sure do follow the hype that "during the menstrual cycle women crave xyz "
I need to take better control of myself and make healthier choices and make the choice to say "Yep, I'd really like some ice cream, a Snickers bar" or whatever and say, NO! I don't need it!
#4...I do have 3 scheduled and I plan to work hard at those!
#5...Seriously, why am I not tracking every BLT (bites, licks and tastes)? I have a phone that has an app and I can even scan labels and it will input into my tracker! Pure laziness and I have to get over it!
I want this, I need this and I have the mental toughness to do it!
Tonight I'm planning on putting together a cucumber salad for the rest of the week, just need to figure out the main dishes. We have a ton of stuff in our freezer, just have to wrap my head around planning!
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Emotional Maturity
Today's post is inspired by a "mental toughness" seminar that I've been following.
www.fatloser.com
I saw the author on our local news a few weeks ago, he written numerous self-help and mental toughness books and audio series. His current book is "Die Fat or Get Tough"...I'm awaiting my copy. His goal in this particular seminar is to help people overcome their emotional immaturity to lose weight. He wants you "mental tough" so you can get rid of that little voice in your head that talks bad to you, allows you to make poor choices and to give excuses for being fat. He makes alot of sense. His 21 day seminar at Fat Loser is free if you want to check it out.
I was behind a few days, so I watched 4 days worth this morning and there was a common theme..."Emotional Maturity;" how we are emotional creatures that can talk ourselves into anything. My failure to lose weight and stick to a diet is because I lack emotional maturity. This concept really hit home for me. I've always been heavy, excuse me, I mean FAT...you can see in pictures from the ages 3-5 how I got fat. My families eating habits were atrocious, alot of fast food, pizza, no veggies, all starches/carbs. My mom worked and went to school from the time I was 3-9, we were always on the go. It was those formative years that I learned nothing about nutrition and eating healthy and I still think that way. I know better! I've lost and gained weight many times and the foundation should be healthy/clean eating, which I ignore for "convenience" sake. I'm tired, I'm to busy, we don't have XYZ...I know better, I'm the adult, yet I allow myself to be lazy and stop by a drive thru.
Yesterday was a perfect example, I ate well at work, but I got more and more physically tired as the day went on. I munched on a snack that my partner had brought in (counted the points!) but when I was leaving work, I "needed" some caffeine, so I hit up McDonald's...and rather than just a glass of Diet Coke, I ended up w/ a McDouble value meal. It's only $3, I'm hungrrrrrrrry, I said to myself. Did the grease and fat filled sandwich and fries make me feel more energized? Nope, just the opposite, even though I worked out immediately after, I was still tired and sluggish. I also told myself I'd change my WW tracker from the Chicken Spaghetti I "planned" to eat for dinner later to the McDonald's. I told myself I'd have a small salad for dinner...did I? Well, you probably guessed that I didn't. I ate my serving of Chicken Spaghetti on top of the McDonald's, which put myself waaaaay over my points for the day, which I did track. Did I feel less tired or sluggish? Nope, and I felt guilty on top of it.
The videos today really hit home. He said things like "behavior follows belief"...well, I believed the value meal wouldn't sabotage my diet, so I got it. I was hungrrrrry, so I needed to eat; didn't work out so well for me. Also, "motivate with logic, not emotion." My need to lose weight is for physical health, but it's for my mental health also. I get extremely upset with myself when I make poor choices and when I slack off on working out. I need to look at my choices logically and teach myself how to change my behavior w/o the underlying emotion.
I need to truly believe in self talk and mental toughness. He mentioned an SNL skit w/ Stuart Smiley. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and darn it, people like me!" While I chuckled, I immediately thought "I'm good enough, smart enough and I CAN lose this weight!" He gave a couple of ideas to help and scripts to repeat...so here it goes.
1. As an emotional creature, I can talk myself into anything.
I can take those negative emotions and talk to myself in a positive and logical way to get my eating under control.
2. I have the ability to handle anything that life throws at me...
I really do. I can handle anything!
3. The universe is conspiring to help me get what I want...
I don't necessarily believe this one, but if I say it daily, maybe I can believe it!
4. I can achieve anything I focus on.
Focus and the mental toughness to struggle on and change my habits and way of thinking!
www.fatloser.com
I saw the author on our local news a few weeks ago, he written numerous self-help and mental toughness books and audio series. His current book is "Die Fat or Get Tough"...I'm awaiting my copy. His goal in this particular seminar is to help people overcome their emotional immaturity to lose weight. He wants you "mental tough" so you can get rid of that little voice in your head that talks bad to you, allows you to make poor choices and to give excuses for being fat. He makes alot of sense. His 21 day seminar at Fat Loser is free if you want to check it out.
I was behind a few days, so I watched 4 days worth this morning and there was a common theme..."Emotional Maturity;" how we are emotional creatures that can talk ourselves into anything. My failure to lose weight and stick to a diet is because I lack emotional maturity. This concept really hit home for me. I've always been heavy, excuse me, I mean FAT...you can see in pictures from the ages 3-5 how I got fat. My families eating habits were atrocious, alot of fast food, pizza, no veggies, all starches/carbs. My mom worked and went to school from the time I was 3-9, we were always on the go. It was those formative years that I learned nothing about nutrition and eating healthy and I still think that way. I know better! I've lost and gained weight many times and the foundation should be healthy/clean eating, which I ignore for "convenience" sake. I'm tired, I'm to busy, we don't have XYZ...I know better, I'm the adult, yet I allow myself to be lazy and stop by a drive thru.
Yesterday was a perfect example, I ate well at work, but I got more and more physically tired as the day went on. I munched on a snack that my partner had brought in (counted the points!) but when I was leaving work, I "needed" some caffeine, so I hit up McDonald's...and rather than just a glass of Diet Coke, I ended up w/ a McDouble value meal. It's only $3, I'm hungrrrrrrrry, I said to myself. Did the grease and fat filled sandwich and fries make me feel more energized? Nope, just the opposite, even though I worked out immediately after, I was still tired and sluggish. I also told myself I'd change my WW tracker from the Chicken Spaghetti I "planned" to eat for dinner later to the McDonald's. I told myself I'd have a small salad for dinner...did I? Well, you probably guessed that I didn't. I ate my serving of Chicken Spaghetti on top of the McDonald's, which put myself waaaaay over my points for the day, which I did track. Did I feel less tired or sluggish? Nope, and I felt guilty on top of it.
The videos today really hit home. He said things like "behavior follows belief"...well, I believed the value meal wouldn't sabotage my diet, so I got it. I was hungrrrrry, so I needed to eat; didn't work out so well for me. Also, "motivate with logic, not emotion." My need to lose weight is for physical health, but it's for my mental health also. I get extremely upset with myself when I make poor choices and when I slack off on working out. I need to look at my choices logically and teach myself how to change my behavior w/o the underlying emotion.
I need to truly believe in self talk and mental toughness. He mentioned an SNL skit w/ Stuart Smiley. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and darn it, people like me!" While I chuckled, I immediately thought "I'm good enough, smart enough and I CAN lose this weight!" He gave a couple of ideas to help and scripts to repeat...so here it goes.
1. As an emotional creature, I can talk myself into anything.
I can take those negative emotions and talk to myself in a positive and logical way to get my eating under control.
2. I have the ability to handle anything that life throws at me...
I really do. I can handle anything!
3. The universe is conspiring to help me get what I want...
I don't necessarily believe this one, but if I say it daily, maybe I can believe it!
4. I can achieve anything I focus on.
Focus and the mental toughness to struggle on and change my habits and way of thinking!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Salad vs Sandwich smothered in cheese...A losing battle!
How's it going? How's what going? My diet, my weight loss, my motivation? Well, it's waining...already! I know this happens and it seems to hit me earlier and earlier each time I decide to lose weight. I had lost 2lbs my first week, and my 2nd? I gained it back! No clue why, I tracked everything and I worked out 3-4 times that week, it didn't seem possible!!!
My number one goal...for the month of July, is to lose weight! I have an overall goal of losing 15lbs by Labor Day. This is what I need to do, what I want to do and what I need to dedicate myself to 100%.
On Sunday we had dinner out w/ family (2 hrs away from home) and I ate a small breakfast, but totally blew lunch. The sandwich I ordered SOUNDED like a healthier choice and it was smoothed in so much cheese, any redeeming value of "grilled chicken" was obliterated! Also I had fries and a couple of small onion rings....blah! After lunch we decided to travel a little further south to visit more family and we didn't eat anything until we left their house. Our daughter was sooooooo over tired as we started the trip home, but we knew we had to stop in a drive thru, b/c we were STARVING and she is a french fry officianato, so we had to wait until she was asleep. 9pm, we rolled into McDonald's to split a 20 piece nugget, each had an order of fries and large ice teas. From the backseat we heard a very sleepy "french frrrrrry"...thankfully, we waited and she fell back to sleep and we didn't have to share! Yep, I didn't want to share w/ my daughter! She had eaten fairly healthy all day, as healthy as a toddler can eat when she's being picky, but she actually consumed more fruits and veggies then I did! Why didn't I order a salad at lunch, then I wouldn't feel so guilty about the drive thru stop? Well, b/c I've been taught that a salad is "diet" food, rabbit food, just a filler, no flavor, just there to make sure you get your veggies. I need to change that way of thinking. I can do ANYTHING w/ a salad, add more veggies, more fruit, try different dressings, oils...everything in moderation, salad's can be unhealthy, of course, but they can also be the main course!
Monday I just went w/ the flow and my daughters eating. We got up late so I made cinnamon crescent rolls. We each enjoyed one of those and fruit. Lunch was totally skipped for naps and swimming! (OOPS!) and I can't even remember what we had for dinner. Dinner wasn't a total bust, I enjoyed a yummy baked potato w/ a slice of bacon and exactly 1/4 cheese and 2 tbsp Brummel Brown butter.
Tuesday we got an early phone call to open our gate for the lawn guy, so I got up, enjoyed a cup of coffee and homemade breakfast burrito, then worked out at Curves and had a McDonald's Mango Pineapple smoothie afterwards. Lunch was again skipped for more swimming and a Nutragrain bar. I'm not trying to skip lunch, but my daughter can't swim after she eats or she vomits horribly, so we hold off and have a snack afterwards and aim for an early dinner. For dinner I made yummy Chicken Spaghetti, my daughter refused it and it took everything in me not to go back for 3rds (yes, I had 2nds, but the suggested serving size is 1 1/3 cups and I only had 1/2 a cup each serving) and a very nice salad w/ low fat dressing. I was pretty pleased w/ myself. Until my daughter went to bed, then I had a homemade strawberry shake and iced animal crackers!
Baby steps, but I have to keep in mind that no one makes me eat poorly...I MAKE THAT DECISION...ME, MYSELF & I! I can have an occasional treat, but not multiple treats a day or even a week! I need to think about the month, when/what are we doing that I can enjoy that treat? How will I change my habits that day in order to enjoy it and not see a gain? I like my sweets... I need to stop liking them so much!
So today is a new day...I have my lunch packed, I already enjoyed a balanced breakfast and dinner is planned as well.
Avoid temptation and learn to say NO!
Those are my goals for today!
My number one goal...for the month of July, is to lose weight! I have an overall goal of losing 15lbs by Labor Day. This is what I need to do, what I want to do and what I need to dedicate myself to 100%.
On Sunday we had dinner out w/ family (2 hrs away from home) and I ate a small breakfast, but totally blew lunch. The sandwich I ordered SOUNDED like a healthier choice and it was smoothed in so much cheese, any redeeming value of "grilled chicken" was obliterated! Also I had fries and a couple of small onion rings....blah! After lunch we decided to travel a little further south to visit more family and we didn't eat anything until we left their house. Our daughter was sooooooo over tired as we started the trip home, but we knew we had to stop in a drive thru, b/c we were STARVING and she is a french fry officianato, so we had to wait until she was asleep. 9pm, we rolled into McDonald's to split a 20 piece nugget, each had an order of fries and large ice teas. From the backseat we heard a very sleepy "french frrrrrry"...thankfully, we waited and she fell back to sleep and we didn't have to share! Yep, I didn't want to share w/ my daughter! She had eaten fairly healthy all day, as healthy as a toddler can eat when she's being picky, but she actually consumed more fruits and veggies then I did! Why didn't I order a salad at lunch, then I wouldn't feel so guilty about the drive thru stop? Well, b/c I've been taught that a salad is "diet" food, rabbit food, just a filler, no flavor, just there to make sure you get your veggies. I need to change that way of thinking. I can do ANYTHING w/ a salad, add more veggies, more fruit, try different dressings, oils...everything in moderation, salad's can be unhealthy, of course, but they can also be the main course!
Monday I just went w/ the flow and my daughters eating. We got up late so I made cinnamon crescent rolls. We each enjoyed one of those and fruit. Lunch was totally skipped for naps and swimming! (OOPS!) and I can't even remember what we had for dinner. Dinner wasn't a total bust, I enjoyed a yummy baked potato w/ a slice of bacon and exactly 1/4 cheese and 2 tbsp Brummel Brown butter.
Tuesday we got an early phone call to open our gate for the lawn guy, so I got up, enjoyed a cup of coffee and homemade breakfast burrito, then worked out at Curves and had a McDonald's Mango Pineapple smoothie afterwards. Lunch was again skipped for more swimming and a Nutragrain bar. I'm not trying to skip lunch, but my daughter can't swim after she eats or she vomits horribly, so we hold off and have a snack afterwards and aim for an early dinner. For dinner I made yummy Chicken Spaghetti, my daughter refused it and it took everything in me not to go back for 3rds (yes, I had 2nds, but the suggested serving size is 1 1/3 cups and I only had 1/2 a cup each serving) and a very nice salad w/ low fat dressing. I was pretty pleased w/ myself. Until my daughter went to bed, then I had a homemade strawberry shake and iced animal crackers!
Baby steps, but I have to keep in mind that no one makes me eat poorly...I MAKE THAT DECISION...ME, MYSELF & I! I can have an occasional treat, but not multiple treats a day or even a week! I need to think about the month, when/what are we doing that I can enjoy that treat? How will I change my habits that day in order to enjoy it and not see a gain? I like my sweets... I need to stop liking them so much!
So today is a new day...I have my lunch packed, I already enjoyed a balanced breakfast and dinner is planned as well.
Avoid temptation and learn to say NO!
Those are my goals for today!
Friday, July 13, 2012
Excuses are easy...dedication is hard
As I'm working on my first overall goal of weight loss...or should I say BIG goal, I'm finding I need to set smaller goals for myself. As a repeat Weight Watcher offender member, I know this. It should be in my mind, my blood! Set small achievable goals!
Have I? Nope...
Will I? Definatley.
I can't sit down and say I'm going to lose 80lbs...well, sure I could, but even as that statement leaves my mouth I'm depressed. So I'm going to lose 10lbs this month! I'm going to pay attention to what I eat, how much I exercise and what I'm doing to my body and my mind. SMALL ACHIEVABLE GOALS!!!
So here we go...My goals for tomorrow...I'm working a 16 hour shift, 7a-7p.
1. Do my starter workout as soon as I wake up
2. Pack all food, so it's not necessary to go out. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks & snacks!
3. Use my WW tracker, no excuse not to!
4. Take 2 fifteen minute treadmill breaks!
5. Try to keep stress to a minimum. Keep it work stress, not emotional stress!
What can I do each day to keep myself on track to reach my goals?
Make them early or the night before... Maybe
Make sure they fit the day and are not to lofty... Definately...SMALL ACHIEVABLE GOALS!
Wish me luck!
Have I? Nope...
Will I? Definatley.
I can't sit down and say I'm going to lose 80lbs...well, sure I could, but even as that statement leaves my mouth I'm depressed. So I'm going to lose 10lbs this month! I'm going to pay attention to what I eat, how much I exercise and what I'm doing to my body and my mind. SMALL ACHIEVABLE GOALS!!!
So here we go...My goals for tomorrow...I'm working a 16 hour shift, 7a-7p.
1. Do my starter workout as soon as I wake up
2. Pack all food, so it's not necessary to go out. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks & snacks!
3. Use my WW tracker, no excuse not to!
4. Take 2 fifteen minute treadmill breaks!
5. Try to keep stress to a minimum. Keep it work stress, not emotional stress!
What can I do each day to keep myself on track to reach my goals?
Make them early or the night before... Maybe
Make sure they fit the day and are not to lofty... Definately...SMALL ACHIEVABLE GOALS!
Wish me luck!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
My first goal...Weightloss.
A goal in mind...That's why I'm writing this...b/c I have a goal in mind...or so I thought. I WANT to have a goal in mind, I NEED to have a goal in mind, but do I actually have one. Well, I have many, here is my main goal.
1. To lose weight...not just any weight, a significant amount. I'd like to keep a realistic goal in mind, month to month, rather than the whole. I do have a number in mind, but it looms so far in the distance I just can't say it until I get motivated to the small goals.
257...that is what my scale told me two weeks ago when I stepped on it. That is the weight I've maintained since I walked (ok, rolled) out of the hospital at Dec 12, 2010 when my brand new baby girl! Now, there is a plus...I've maintained, lost and gained the same 5lbs, but it's so frustrating. I see pictures like this...
And it makes me sad, and frustrated and honestly, disgusted. I don't need the assurances that I'm pretty, cute...whatever! What I need is motivation! Motivation to reach a goal! My goal for weight loss this month is 10lbs. As of last Sunday I was at 255, I'm on my way. I'm not going to focus on the ounces, those have always upset me in the past, so I'm going to stick to whole pounds. I'm going to focus on tracking (thank you Weight Watchers, I know you work, but why I fight you every step of the way...well, that is another post!), and on exercise, movement, playing w/ my girl...anything that gets my butt going!
Here it is on paper (well, on screen!)...the start of my goals. I have many in mind, that I plan to write about, but baby steps!
1. To lose weight...not just any weight, a significant amount. I'd like to keep a realistic goal in mind, month to month, rather than the whole. I do have a number in mind, but it looms so far in the distance I just can't say it until I get motivated to the small goals.
257...that is what my scale told me two weeks ago when I stepped on it. That is the weight I've maintained since I walked (ok, rolled) out of the hospital at Dec 12, 2010 when my brand new baby girl! Now, there is a plus...I've maintained, lost and gained the same 5lbs, but it's so frustrating. I see pictures like this...
Here it is on paper (well, on screen!)...the start of my goals. I have many in mind, that I plan to write about, but baby steps!
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